Sunday, 14 October 2012

If Pixels Were Porkchops...

This was originally posted on the Forces of Geek site on Thursday 4th October. I recently got engaged (yay!) and one of the main reasons I decided to write about video game menus was research for a potential geeky wedding menu... of course, I also love recipes and cooking. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy reading!

I love a good menu and by menu I don't mean menu screens, I'm talking about delicious food inspired by games. Ever wanted to try a Sweetroll? Tuck into Moogle Pie? Or indulge in somethings comforting like a warming bowl of Lava Soup?

Forget gaming food - you know the stuff, ready-available snack food full of fat and high in sugar (my snack of choice is the mighty McVities Chocolate Caramel Digestive... Mmm) - the confines of reality aren't enough for my appetites, what really makes me salivate are some of the recipes or dishes our gaming protagonists come across during their adventures.

I'm well aware that these are made up of pixels or voxels or whatever... but when I prepare a meal in-game I wonder what culinary tricks I can learn and translate to recipes in my own kitchen. Even some of the earliest games make me peckish, especially Pacman which made fruit seem even more delicious!

My favourite game for grub is the Fallout series... if you ignore the fact that everything is riddled with radiation, some of these recipes are ingenious and well worth taking notes on in the event we're ever stranded in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Emma-Jane's Delectable Fallout Menu of Choice


YumYum Deviled Eggs - Okay so a box of pre-made deviled eggs might not sound appetising but you can't go wrong with eggs at breakfast to provide you with all the fuel you need to explore the wastes.

If you don't fancy eggs then opt for Sugar Bombs, the sugary cereal shaped like atom bombs. You might even get lucky and bag yourself the free prize: a Captain Cosmos decoder ring!


Just your friendly iguana-on-a-stick vendor!
Iguana-on-a-Stick - A fine snack, this lizard tastes just like chicken apparently and is eaten across the globe already. I like to pretend I'm eating a tiny dinosaur.

Junk Food - or otherwise known as Spring Valley Potato Crisps. Not exactly full of nutrients but adds a nice crunch and texture with is the perfect accompaniment to that meaty iguana.

Wash down this lunch with some Sunset Saspirilla or an ice cold Nuka-Cola and you've got yourself a meal worthy of any explorer.


Delicious two-headed cow... Mmm
Brahmin Wellington - The recipe for this can be found in the kitchens of the Ultra-Luxe Hotel in New Vegas so you know this meal will emanate class and sophistication, even if it is made using BlamCo Mac and Cheese! Still, you can be sure this meal will be filling with a large helping of InstaMash.

Cook-Cook's Fiend Stew - This is the ultimate alternative for those of you on with a smaller budget, this will pack a punch as one of the ingredients is a


Doesn't look that appealing but there's vodka in it!
Mississippi Quantum Pie - 1 part flour, 1 part Nuka-Cola Quantum and 1 part vodka makes this the ultimate boozy dessert.

Some of the ingredients are items readily available while others require more effort to find, nevertheless what the Fallout menu offers is imagination and creativity - proving that you don't need to make do when times are hard, you can dine like a King... with a Robo-dog.

If you prefer your food a little less irradiated, then your best bet for a hearty meal is in Tamriel. Enjoy an inn lunch surrounded by good company, fine ales, Alto wine and relax by the fire as the local bard sings about your latest conquest. The Elder Scrolls universe has flora and fauna very similar to our own and consists of the five main food groups... meat, bread, cheese, potato and ale.

Emma-Jane's Hearty Elder Scrolls Menu of Choice


Bread with Honey, a few slices of Eidar Cheese and an Apple.

Or for those you who purchased the add-on Hearthfire, I'd recommend the Potato Bread, the Irish swear by this delicious potato based bread for a fine start to their day... and so do I! Add a Jug of Milk and you have yourself an amazing start to the day.

Mid-morning Snack

Boiled Creme Treat - for those of you with a sweet tooth, this sugary snack will keep you going until lunchtime.


Elsweyr Fondue with Grilled Leeks and Tomatoes makes a fine luncheon with a rustic hand-teared hunk of Bread on the side.

Stew - a Nord Specialty!
For those of you up in the North, warm your insides with a tasty stew. With a choice of Beef, Venison, Horker or Apple Cabbage, there's a stew for everyone. Enjoy with some Nord Mead.


Pheasant Roast on a bed of Cabbage and Potatoes with a chalice of Black-Briar Mead. Be sure to cook your potatoes in the same pot as your pheasant for extra flavour! The mead will add some sweetness to this gamey meal but if you're feeling gluttonous why not indulge in a tankard of Argonian Ale instead?


No-one steals my sweetrolls!
Sweetrolls with Spiced Wine - a match made in heaven!

Or finish with a little Human Blood... if you're so inclined. Oh and don't forget, in Tamriel salt goes in EVERYTHING!

Of course, some of us might prefer to go for a less avant-garde menu, something a little less medieval or radioactive because let's face it, the home cooked meals we enjoy the most are the ones that are most comforting. The Sims world is full of well-known recipes and family favourites.

Emma-Jane's Simlish Menu a la Carte


Cereal - Simple and unlikely to cause a fire, cereal is a classic breakfast food which you can enjoy as a snack or for the first meal of the day.

If cereal isn't your thing then how about a breakfast of Pancakes - remember, don't eat too many or other Sims will start calling you fat in Simlish.

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches "Bellissimo!"

Grilled Cheese Sandwich - These kept me going during my university days and can be jazzed up with the addition of extra ingredients. Though, much like in The Sims, I prefer them as they are.

For a bit of variety why not substitute a grilled cheese sandwich for a Cup O'Ramen? Quick, easy and filling.


BBQ - Hamburgers, Hotdogs and Ribs cooked on the grill is the perfect Summer evening meal, garnish with a Chef's Salad. If you're vegetarian then I suppose you could switch the meat for Mac And Cheese but for carnivores there's no greater feast.

What do you eat if it's raining? (Or more aptly, if you choose to make it rain) Well, my suggestion for a delicious evening meal is Spaghetti.

Or for those special occasions there's also Lobster Thermidor and for those of you with the Nightlife extension (you fancy people!) why not take a trip to a restaurant and dine on a succulent Filet Mignon.


Baked Alaska - For me there is no contest in The Sims for the title of 'classic' dessert.

So there you have it, some of my dream gaming menu's. Though if I had to pick a favourite it'd be the Elder Scrolls one. I was interested to know what other people thought so I asked some friends on Twitter:

In terms of food, if you could live in any gaming world which would it be and why? 

Here's what a selection of them answered:

If you have your own menus or disagree with mine then I'd love to see your submissions in the comments section below. Until next time, check out Gourmet Gaming for real recipes of all your gaming faves!

Happy eating!

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