I hope it doesn't come across that I dislike board games because I bloody love 'em! So I hope you enjoy reading it, my next post will more than likely be after Christmas, so I hope you all have a great day full of food, merriment and plenty of games!
Christmas will soon be upon us and with it comes the obligatory social interaction with our families, tolerating bad food, being peer-pressured into wearing a stupid hat and having to be nice to our siblings. But the worst thing about Christmas is being gifted a brand new console or receiving shiny new games only to be told you can't play any of them because it's anti-social.
|All this joy ruined by social convention. So sad...|
(image via NintendoLife)
That's right...imagination, bitches!
Personally I enjoy board games, whether I'm playing with my relatives or not. But if you don't like them or just don't feel like playing them then try thinking about them differently.
|Why do we look so damn awesome? Oh, yeah..we built this city!|
|Mwahaha! I have ALL the properties!|
Soon you'll have amassed most of the board and if you keep upgrading your houses to hotels, eventually everyone will become so annoyed with you for making it impossible for them to traverse the board that they'll all get bored and restless; thus ending the game early. Success!
|Little does he know but his son just pocketed the keys to the car!|
However, if your mum is anything like mine, then don't play it with her or risk losing horribly because she is obsessed with Candy Crush Saga and may very well embarrass you by winning and then making you play again, and again and again.
|Damn those little plastic enemies!|
|The fate of the world rests on you and your decisions...|
It is your duty to your crew and your planet to destroy your enemies and it's up to you to protect the entire galaxy from the Reapers.. er I mean, your relatives.
Calmly remove each piece with the ease and grace gifted to you from years of gaming while your little brother or sister gets increasingly frustrated and sets of the buzzer multiple times until they inevitably throw the whole thing across the room...which you'll effortlessly dodge using your perfectly honed reflexes, of course.
But this is where you're wrong, you have an ace up your sleeve (well...not literally, that'd be silly, you're playing Scrabble not Poker remember?!).
Knowledge is power and this is your chance to bust out some killer words that the rest of your family will be so baffled by they might actually accept as real words and if they don't, then you've entertained yourself for an hour at least. By utilising video game words to your advantage you may well win the game, just don't expect any achievements or trophies.
Begin with actual words so not to arouse suspicion, real words found in games like, 'Elixir' for example, land that 'X' on a triple points tile and you'll soon be on your way to victory.
As the game progresses try your luck with made-up words like 'Chocobo', "Shmup" or 'Noob" (although, I think 'Noob' is legal as it's in the Oxford dictionary which not only horrifies me but gives you all the more reason to use it).
If it helps, try spending the entire game speaking in a gruff, Dark Knight Christian Bale voice and when called up on it by your relatives simply explain that you're getting into the spirit of the game and playing a character, it is a murder mystery after all.
|Reverend Green...or The Riddler?!|
|"Oh my God...it was Professor Plum in the Bat-Kitchen...Alfred?!"|
After you've lured them in with a few safe titles and they open up to the idea of video games, encourage friendly competition between your grandparents on one of the many Just Dance or Dance Central games. Then film them attempting to play and upload their embarrassing but hilarious attempts to YouTube as your gift to the world this Christmas.
Whatever you do, I hope I've made the seasonal foray into board games with your family more exciting by injecting a few video game elements into them.
And if you're still struggling, I have one more tip for you. The ultimate way of dealing with the annual tradition of socialising with family is to imagine you are all in a game of The Sims.
Just don't be tempted to start fires or lock family members in rooms - it's just not Christmassy, even if you have downloaded a ridiculous Santa costume for yourself to wear while wreaking havoc.
Merry gaming, all!