Musings of a Job Seeker During Covid-19

Norwich 2020 Graffiti at Edward Rd Car Park. Photo credit: Evelyn Simak

The year 2020 has been pretty weird, huh? 

One thing it's taught me thus far is that we should all be kinder to ourselves. 

For example, I've neglected this blog for some time because to be honest, I felt guilty for writing. Guilty because instead of writing I should be job hunting. 

That was the case for late 2019 and most of January. 

Bye, Bye Job of 10 Years

I was made redundant in October 2019 and it took me until late January 2020 to find a new role. 

I would spend each day honing my LinkedIn profile page, scouring job listings, writing applications, completing online certifications, preparing for interviews, attending interviews and editing my CV. 

I wouldn't even pick up a video game controller or allow myself to relax because it was imperative that all of my actions should be related to finding a new job or searching out freelance writing work. I didn't even allow myself to take Christmas Day off. 

Government Help?

I had applied to over 100 jobs. I knew this because I was required to enter my job application activity to the Job Centre website in order to eventually be told I didn't qualify for Universal Credit. 

I qualified Jobseeker's Allowance at least, but at £73 a week, I had little incentive to do so because the only roles they wanted to offer me were in retail. Some of which were 15 miles away - and I don't drive!

When you reject a role, they cut your allowance. 

If you reject another, even if you feel it isn't suitable, they cut it again, until eventually you're not allowed to claim anything.   

My freelance writing work, my filmmaking experience and my marketing credentials didn't matter to them. 

Sweet Relief

When I eventually found my new role, it was January 2020 and the relief that I felt was incredible. It was then, at that moment in time I realised how unnecessarily strict and unkind to myself I had been over the last 4 months. 

I was an emotional and physical wreck. I sobbed because I was so happy but also so, so tired and drained. I had neglected my well-being and mental health by focusing solely on acquiring a job for almost 4 months solid. 

When I began my new role as Marketing Executive for a renowned international sportswear company, I threw my all into it - eager to prove I had what it takes. 

Within weeks I was travelling to premiership rugby clubs to collaborate on community videos, writing video briefs, multiple press releases, managing social media and helping to organise a film shoot for an upcoming product launch. I absolutely loved it. 

Player Tom Varndell  and crew at Leicester Tigers RFC ground during the video shoot for a brand new product launch.
Photo credit: Emma-Jane Stogdon 

Yet, I'd been so hard on myself in those months beforehand that I wasn't operating at full capacity outside of work. As my husband described, I was "wired" and couldn't relax. 

In fact, it's as if my body and mind had forgotten how to even process relaxation. I couldn't concentrate on watching films and I still wasn't really playing games (which if you know me, is unheard of).

I'd unknowingly programmed myself to be tense and anxious. I couldn't function at full capacity. I had programmed a feeling of guilt into everything enjoyable. 

Eventually. I found some equilibrium, a healthy work-life balance and banished any negative thoughts. I started reading again, playing video games and watching films - all the activities I used to turn to in order to unwind and de-stress. 

Oh, hi, Coronavirus

When Covid-19 began to affect the UK, I felt my usual anxiety bubble up but I downplayed it. After all, I was being safe and my workplace were taking all precautions. 

But then we started to lose business - first it was sports events we were due to sponsor being cancelled. Just one or two, nothing to be overly concerned about - or so we thought. 

I continued working hard on various upcoming campaigns and the existing video campaign that we'd recently filmed (thankful we were able to finish production in February). 

Then, my bus journey into work changed - there were fewer people on it each day. I saw less and less people on my commute.

Streets empty on my morning commute, St Stephen's St, Norwich, March 2020

The Greggs next to my bus stop stopped allowing people to sit inside so I had to wait outside with my flat white in the cold and rain. 

Gregg's on St Stephen's St, Norwich, March 2020 - takeaway only

The local Co-op where I often bought my lunch started running out of things. There were empty shelves. Not just one or two. Not just toilet paper or hand sanitiser either. Then within days there were customer limits... 

Empty shelves at Co-op, Long Stratton March 2020

This was getting much bigger than I had anticipated and the sense of unease increased at work. 

New Working Patterns

We were all briefed and instructed to speak with the CEO to discuss a change in our working patterns. I was thankful at how transparent the company was and still is. 

Our shift patterns changed, many of us opting to take reduced hours.

Then those of us who could began working remotely, myself included. 

Then lockdown officially began. 

Then I was furloughed.

Sadly, the government support wasn't enough and so a wave of redundancies began. 

I wasn't mad or upset (at least not at my company - this was a completely understandable, if unfortunate situation). 

I understood it. I was working within the sports industry.

There was no sport. 

We had no kit to design, no new kit partnerships to announce and no events. 

Even the Olympics was cancelled. 

It was inevitable.     

The government letter I received informing everybody to stay home

    

What Now?

It's now May 2020 and unfortunately as of June 1st I find myself unemployed once more. This time around, I've made a pact with myself. To treat myself with kindness. I'll keep on searching for my brand new role, the next stage in my career, but I'll give myself permission to relax. 

Whether you're a key worker, are working from home, have been furloughed or find yourself unemployed like me - a global pandemic is an exceptional circumstance, an unprecedented event that affects us all. This time in our lives will undoubtedly be stressful. 

So if you're struggling to be productive or even if you're working harder than usual, please take a break, read a book, paint, watch some trash TV,..breathe. It's okay. Taking time to do something you enjoy without feeling guilty is absolutely necessary for our health. 

It's not a stop, it's just a pause. 

Stay safe and be kind to yourselves.